A little more from less.

I've often felt that I can learn the same harsh lesson from less harsh experiences or even appreciate the same overwhelming joy from a less overwhelming experience. I asked my mom if this has always been something I've done, and she conceded. It's made her work as a parent easier, and it's made my life easier as well. It's allowed me to make the same essential mistake with half the consequence. It's like messing up in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship as opposed to a marriage. True, it's relative; but that's where it becomes a matter of imagination almost, and empathy really. Hearing stories of other people's plights, I automatically put myself in their shoes. It allows me to see enough of that reality to be somewhat prepared for it.

I think A LOT. In that thinking, I make myself FEEL. It's possible to do too much of it and get lost in a reality that's never actualized, but at least I can snap out of it and get back to reality. There is what goes on in mind, and then there is what I do with those thoughts. It's wonderful. It's like a constant test-run to everything. And yes, there are somethings one can never prepare for. I embrace those too. They are beyond me. I humble myself to them. But, to most of life's trials and tribulations, I can react wisely because I've already ran through it. I've already rehearsed.

Just to get the fingers rolling.

These days, my wants don't surpass my haves. It's a wonderful thing but does require a bit of readjusting. It's strange going from less to more of what I want and still needing to pause. It's funny that whether I move from "negative" to "positive" or vice versa, I always need to take a deep breath. I need that second to take a step back and say "Wow." These days, after that step and that "Wow," I smile contently. I am at peace. I am happy. I am grateful. I guess that's just how I appreciate things good and bad. With a step back and a conscious decision to step back in. Funny. All that said, my mind rests at ease. Love.