Hello.
It's been awhile. I know I started writing because writing seemed to catalyze good things for me. Some sort of production, some sort of concreteness to the ideas that flow in and out all day, everyday. Inspired by a fellow "blogger," I've decided to revisit it.
Wow. It's been a whole year and some change since I've written something about myself. I'd hope that after a year I could brag about all the growth and new insight I've come upon. Unfortunately, I'm not so confidant. Much less a new, profound insight and much more just trying something different is all I can say. To an extent, it's emerged out of a sense of desperation. A need to be declarative about what and how I'm doing in life. What does that entail exactly? I'm not so sure, yet not so worried. I'm going day to day, with the "real world" goal of achieving my Bachelor's. Other than that goal, I'm trying to make sure I can get up in the morning, and do something worth while with my day. Something that hopefully brings me a smile or a laugh, and if not, something to be okay about. It's become that simple. I just want to be okay with who I am, where I am, and what I'm doing... day to day.
I had a conversation last night with someone I regard to be a thoughtful, mature, life-questioning individual. And given all the "intelect" that we bring to the table, at the end of it, we both felt like we just shouldn't take life so seriously. There's no great conclusion that is supposed to appease us for the remainder... no matter where you're at in life. We go and we continue and we adapt and make adjustments along the way, and hopefully, at the very least, we can laugh some. We can realize that life is but a stage. We play roles that we decide to for a given time, and then switch it up. It's the nature of things.
That made me feel alright. That made me feel not so sure and not so worried about who I decided to say I am, and what I decide to do for the time being.
