Then, I realized if/when it happens, I just gotta ride it out. It's silly to feel a future that hasn't even happened. I regressed into getting lost in a possibility. I told myself awhile ago not to waste my life on "What ifs." That's just how life goes. This or that may arise, and I gotta be down. I'll deal with it when it comes. I can't expect to solve my future problems now. I'm sure I'll get better at dealing with it too. I'll live. I'll learn.
Anyway, I'm better now. I don't feel so lost. I just know I gotta feel it all out. There'll be a break in the dissonance. And best of all, I've got the support of so many beautiful people to help me through those times. :-)
as i was reading this i was just thinking that periods where you're in a funk are just a reassurance that you are human. while it's obvious that some emotions and situations are favorable over others, unless you go through the full spectrum from time to time it will all start to feel kind of bland. remember that head-above-water idea? unless you lose your bearings and go under a little bit from time to time, you'll forget what saltwater tastes like and you won't be as appreciative to the fact that you spend the majority of your life floating along just fine. just know that there's sky above your head even if you can't quite see it and make sure you don't ever sink too far, you'll be fine. =)
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